While being one of the best things you can do for yourself, Travel is also one of the easiest ways to end up in a situation you didn’t see coming.
I’ve made mistakes. I’ve watched people I love make mistakes. I’ve heard of horror stories from friends. And I’ve picked up a few hard-won lessons along the way that I wish someone had handed me before my first trip.
So here they are, from me to you, with a little humor (one hopes?) and one story that still makes my stomach drop.
Do your homework before you go
Before you ever pack a bag, get curious about where you’re headed. A little research up front saves you a lot of stress on the ground.
Start with two questions:
What are the good and bad neighborhoods? Know where you want to stay, where you want to wander, and where you’d rather not end up after dark.
What are the community cultures? How do people dress? What’s considered rude? What’s totally normal there that might surprise you?
The best answers usually come from people who’ve actually been to the specific location you’re planning on, especially other people who’ve traveled like you. Traveling with your kids? Search for people who’ve done that. Traveling with your best friends? Search that, too. A group of guys might have/want a different experience than a group of women. Someone, somewhere on the internet has gone there first and is sharing about it in blogs, etc. And maybe they even have a course!
Know what’s on the menu (and what’s in it)
Look up what food is common that outsiders might find “ew,” so when you get there you don’t insult someone with your facial expression or gag reflex. ;)
Trust me, I’ve seen some stuff that made me realize that the movie Snowpiercer, with the bugs they were feeding everyone? Maybe not sci-fi after all.
And when it says “beef,” what kind of “beef” is that? Ask. Because to some, it’s not just cow.
Sometimes I thank my lucky stars I’m a vegetarian, sometimes pescatarian. Makes traveling so much easier. Hahaha
Timing your arrival
Book your first night somewhere ahead of time, and land during the day.
Why?
Do you want to be wandering around with your suitcase at midnight trying to figure out where you’re sleeping?
Your first few hours in a new place are when you’re the most tired, the most distracted, and the most obviously new.
Give yourself daylight and a confirmed bed, and you’ve already cut out half the risk.
A story from Belize
I went on a family trip to Belize some years back when our father was still on this planet, may Terry Mackey rest in peace forever. And may he forgive me for sharing this story. But it might help someone, so I’m going to tell it.
First, Belize is this:
But it can also be this:
Which is where our story begins…
We’re there on Day 1. Five of us. Dad, his girlfriend and three daughters. He was pushing 70 and had maybe lived in a rural town for a bit too long. Not everywhere in the world is as safe as his home was. He used to leave the doors unlocked for goodness’ sake!
May the world be that way everywhere.
I mention these details about him because upon arrival in Belize we found ourselves a bit lost.
Okay, ummm, totally lost.
Worse?
We had ambled onto a street behind the main streets.
A street like the one in that last photo.
All five of us were wondering where to go.
But see, Dad wasn’t used to danger.
He was once VERY used to danger.
He retired a Lieutenant, a police officer for 27 years. He’d worked in Narcotics, undercover. He worked in Homicide and I don’t even want to know what that was like. At the time of his retirement, he was in charge of Search and Rescue, both Land and Sea (had even acquired a series of ships against the wishes of his superiors, to be used for the task). Did I mention he was also in charge of the SWAT Team? And there is a driving course Lieutenant Terry Mackey started, still running today, on how to handle your vehicle like a badass racecar driver to catch bad guys..
So at the time of this story, he’d been retired for about 20 years, living in a safe wonderful place.
He’d gotten a little relaxed about the world.
Cool, but not cool.
Because we were in a foreign country on Day 1, lost.
And I was the only one with walls up and eyes peeled.
It was hot out.
Nobody was around.
We were on a deserted street.
A gross one.
The type behind the restaurants where they don’t give a flying F*** how the paint job looks. How the garbage cans smell. Nor about the rats playing chess wearing tiny hats on empty pizza boxes.
And lo and behold, suddenly we weren’t alone.
A man had appeared.
A stranger.
But none of us knew this. Yet.
(I am not talking about rodents. They knew.)
Feeling uncomfortable with the surroundings, I continued walking out of there. But my footsteps weren’t echoed. I realized my family was not by my side. I looked behind me to discover my cop father hunched together with his girlfriend over an outstretched paper map. And my sisters? They were walking closer so they could see the map, too.
Since you’re on the outside of this situation, think to yourself for a moment, “What would this picture look like to a local robber/scammer who maybe doesn't have the nice tennis shoes, the watches, the iPhones”
I ask you to imagine this because at the very moment I wondered where everyone had gone, there was stranger-danger. A male ne’er-do-well was approaching my family with the subtlety and gait of Gollum as his Precious ring called to him.
But it’s very hard sometimes to see these things when you’re in the thick of it. My family was so focused on a need for direction they didn’t see the best direction was get-out-of-here-now.
My blood started pumping.
The dude was about to offer to “help.”
My family wanted help, but they didn’t see what I was seeing.
What he saw.
Map.
Tourists.
Lost.
Easy thieving.
I wasn’t subtle about the exit plan. “Guys. Guys! Let’s go. Come on!” I think I even went and took the map because they weren’t listening at first.
This is important: I firmly told the slime-ball, “We’ve got this. We’re okay. Thank you. We don’t need help,” and my family followed me away from him.
Then I punched the guy!
No, I didn’t.
I wanted to.
But what I said to him up there?
This is what matters to you.
I said, “We’ve got this. We’re okay. Thank you. We don’t need help,” with a clear, deeper voice that conveyed a lack of weakness.
No need to be sweet. No need to be overly polite.
I only included the Thank you because basic manners, even curt, can go a long way to assuage anger. Sometimes they disarm.
I was direct and firm to clearly let him know we were not to be messed with.
By Making It Clear You’re Strong, They Don’t Mistake You For Weak.
We had a pretty okay time that trip. I did yoga every day overlooking clear blue waters. We all did a boat tour to swim with nurse sharks and sting rays in Shark/Ray alley. Then one of my sisters and I got in a huge fight and I jumped off a golf cart to get away from her. Can’t always choose your family. It’s why I’ve always lived far away, and will continue to do so. Especially after Terry Mackey left the planet unexpectedly almost five years ago right in front of me, at his park-like home, and cut our ties with his exit.
What that day taught me — tell your travel companions:
Don’t look like a target. Even if you’re a badass cop, your guard can go down if your focus is pulled by the newness of it all. Nothing says “I’m-a-tourist-come-rob-me” more than staring at a map in an empty-ish, filthy street, no matter what time of day. Hell, even on a busy street that’s not a good idea.
Plan in private. Look at your maps in your hotel room. In a restaurant, too, but don’t chatter loudly about where you’re going. Don’t wear your good jewelry. Leave your diamond wedding ring at home, ladies. Bring a band. Invest in a band.
Be clear, not sweet. You have to make it really clear to a ne’er-do-well that you’re not a victim-to-be-had. Really clear. And polite, but not overly so. Clarity over sappy-sweet.
Many women have made the mistake of being too nice to bad people. And some men have, too.
When traveling, stick to busier areas. Well lit. Safe vibes. Don’t pull out a map until you’ve made your way into a business, a hotel lobby, etc.
I’ve gone inside stores that sell phones to look up directions, or to ask a local for help if they look friendly and honest. Because people are too busy looking at phones to care what I’m doing.
When you’re lost, keep walking until you find a business because there is always one around.
Go anyway
None of this is meant to scare you out of traveling.
Quite the opposite.
It’s meant to help you travel with your eyes open, knowledge filling your intellect, so that you’re NOT scared.
Be prepared and you can have fun pretty much everywhere.
The world is big and beautiful, and you deserve to see it.
Now you’ll see it smart.
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